Mother sub

Recently I’ve come across several twitter accts that once were your perfect token submissive and that have turned around by 180° , shedding their trait in a heartbeat and since then minding their daily Vanilla life and work business. Raising the kids.

I must admit that has startled me. Irked me even. Although it’s their personal decision obviously, I simply cannot understand how you can turn off and shelve being submissive.

I know they won’t be happy this way. I know I wasn’t. I lived a shadow life for years. Shelving all my needs so that everybody else had a cushy life. Always working. Always functioning. Always pulling the cart out of the dirt.

But you only live once (?) and time flies by.

I was woken up with a slap in the face to realise this a couple of years ago. I’ll post about this another time.

Anyway. I don’t see why I should spend my life caring for everybody else but myself. I love my kids to bits but I will not have no love life or sex life until they leave home. I’ll be past the cougar state until then.

Yes, I do take one afternoon off every other week. For myself. I could have a facial treatment, or get my nails done, or go shopping. But most times I try to see the man who has become my Dominant and play partner over the last half year.

And it’s not the need for a rough fuck that makes me go there. It’s the peace and relaxation it brings to my mind and soul. The knowledge that my place still is on my knees by His feet. I feel calm and centered when I come home. (I also feel sore, tired and ridiculously hungry for carbs but shhhsh)

Call it D/s, call it therapy… in my opinion there’s a time and place for work kids family ….and there’s a time and place to be His whore as well. There must be. There IS. If you really want it.



A fresh start

Neglected this blog for way too long. I know. Work life, self employment, kids and a lot of personal changes kept me more than busy.

From now on I’ll be using this acct for random posts on my journey into and within bdsm, my thoughts on things or people that cross me, or my mind on twitter, and the occasional rant.

In German and English. Depending on my target group.

Of course there will be the occasional story too….